The 2010 Trinidad & Tobago Pride Memorial took place on Sunday 25 July
The Feature Address was given by 25-year-old CAISOnian Kareem Griffith
Photos courtesy Bohemia
My name is Kareem Griffith and I’m a member of CAISO: the Coalition Advocating for Inclusion of Sexual Orientation. I was speaking with Cyrus Sylvester and Hayden Browne and they were telling me that in 1994, people were dropping like flies. They would just disappear and then you would hear months later that they had passed. ‘Why? Because the fear and the shame were so much, that people would rather have died alone than face their friends or families with the truth. There was so much misinformation and stigma around AIDS that when you died from “that”, it seemed that people would rather forget you than have to remember how you died.
And so in 1994, a few of our community’s many heroes including: Godfrey Sealy, Andre Froget and Larry Christopher got together and organized the first Pride AIDS Memorial. It was also a bold statement. I think the statement they made was this: “We refuse to forget the members of our community who have died from AIDS-related complications. They were our brothers, our sisters, our lovers and our friends. And love them or hate them, they were one of us, and if nobody else wants to remember them, WE MUST!”
That was a call to action. And our community responded and here we are today, 16 years later. Every one of their faces is on that wall. And we’re still here too. A little bruised, a little broken, but standing strong, stilettos and all. Always remembering, always surviving. You talk about Pride… That makes me feel so proud
Now I have a question for all of you. By a show of hands, how many of us here today, have at least once in our lives felt rejected by someone we loved just because of our sexual orientation or gender identity? By those who we most wanted to be proud of us? Our family, our friends, our church, our co-workers?
How many of us have lied to those who we so want to trust just because we’re scared to death of letting them know our true identity?
I came out to my family and friends in 2003. And before that, I was a closeted gay teenager living in a heterosexual household, with heterosexual friends and a member of a church that preached heterosexuality from the pulpit.
After coming out I found the parties, I got the sex, and it was great. But I drifted in and out of the party scene, and eventually I felt like I wasn’t getting what I needed. And so I stopped coming to events, I put one foot back in the closet and said, “You know what, I don’t need the gay community. I could live life on my own as a gay man, you know. It’s no secret, nobody’s going to bother me. I could make a good life for myself. I don’t really need the gay community.” But that delusion didn’t last for long because it came down on me like a ton of bricks that I live in a in a country where we have a law that says it’s OK for my employer to discriminate against me because I’m gay.
I live in a society that thinks heterosexuality is better than all other sexualities. If we search ourselves, even some of us here today think that.
I refuse to accept that and I call on you to refuse to accept that as well. Our sexualities, our gender identities are just as beautiful and natural and acceptable and respectable as any heterosexual’s.
And that’s why I’m here. Because this right here, this is my community. This is the place in society where I’ve always belonged. It’s always been my community. It was my community 16 years ago when I was in Standard 3 with a major crush on Jason, the boy who sat next to me. During the times in my life when I embraced my sexuality, and the times when I was denying it. And you know why? Because when we walk through those gates over there, it does not matter where we come from, what we believe, or who we love. When we step into this yard, we are a family. We have a history. We have a culture. We have traditions. We have heroes. We have leaders. You talk about Pride? That makes me feel so proud!!
Throughout history, our community has been taking small steps that have all added up to result in drastic changes to society. Hayden was telling me it used to be scary to go to a gay party. You used to have to hide and go. Now we partying all on the road on Ariapita Avenue.
We have to stop and appreciate how amazing that is.
And it shows that we can assert our presence and our place in Trinbago. As a community, we could change the society. We have changed the society! And we have to keep pushing. We have to leave a better society for those coming after us. We should never be satisfied with the false sense of security we all now have. I know that I’m not satisfied. And I’ll tell you why.
As long as homophobia fuels the AIDS epidemic that is stealing away our best, brightest and most loved, l am not satisfied.
As long as there is a single piece of legislation that says “sex does not include sexual orientation”…
As long as a politician can stand up and say proudly that our gender policy will not deal with issues of same sex unions and sexual orientation, I am not satisfied.
As long as there’s a law on the books says that, if police wanted to, they could arrest me for having sex with my boyfriend, and I can be imprisoned for twenty-five years. I don’t care if they use it or not. I will never be satisfied. And neither should you.
Following in the community tradition, CAISO has been taking small steps, and seeing some doors open up that used to be just little keyholes that we could look through. But for us to walk through those doors and claim our equal place – we have to walk together. Out there, we hear it all the time. “Why doesn’t the community speak out? How many of y’all are there? Where’s the community?”
I want to share some exciting news. Recently, the Minister of Economic and Social Restructuring and Gender Affairs invited some members of CAISO to her office, met with us herself and told us that the Government wants to begin the process of understanding our community. And she has committed to participating in a discussion forum in September or October that is specifically for the Government to hear and understand what your concerns are as a gay, lesbian, trans or bi citizen of Trinidad and Tobago.
That means there’s hope. This community has always had hope. And to all of those people who say that society is never going to change and that government is never going to do anything for us: This is your chance to try. The biggest changes in society happen when people dare to believe in the impossible.
So now, it’s our turn to keep the movement going. It’s your turn to take the next step. And I know that our circumstances are different and that some of us can take bigger steps than others, but one step we can all take is committing to build a strong and united community. We have so much to learn from one another. We’ve had so many common experiences. And just like a family, we don’t always get along. But you ever had a bad day at work, but you couldn’t take it out on them so you come home and take it out on your loved ones? You snap at them or even worse?? I believe that it’s just like that for a community. As we saw at the beginning, out there, we’ve all been rejected, we’ve all been hurt, and sometimes we take it out on each other. But the reason you can do that is because we know that no matter what, our family will always be there.
When we come together, we do amazing things. And the time is right now! If we come together, we can heal our wounds, and we can change the world we live in…so it doesn’t matter if you’re gay, lesbian, trans, bisexual, pan-sexual, all-sexual, whatever sexual. We are many, but we’re all a part of this one community. My community. Your community. And I don’t have to like you, I don’t have to sleep with you, I don’t have to agree with you, but I do need to understand you. Because when it comes to fighting heterosexism and homophobia, we are all on the same side.
And we will win the fight if we are united!
Thank you.
police. Why? He is homosexual. Mitchell, however, is determined to keep his head up and refuses to be forced into living his life in secrecy and shame. He has always been open about his sexuality, and now he has decided to speak out publicly. … Mitchell says he’s fed up with being ridiculed and discriminated against, and is calling on the Government to ensure gay people have equal rights. ‘Gay people are people too, they are citizens of T&T and they make a valuable contribution to the country…They should not be treated as though they don’t belong or have no rights,’ he argued. … In his way of marking Gay Pride month (July), Mitchell said he was speaking out for all the gay people without a voice. ‘We might not be able to tip the scale in the next election because we are a minority,’ he said. ‘But we belong to a family, we have friends and they all support us so it will be more than just the gay votes,’ he said.”
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